oboeworks nooooooo

So so sad that it seems as thought OboeWorks really will be closing their doors fairly soon, and for good. They are by far my favorite supplies store, with the most decent prices and great service. They are advertising a tube cane blowout sale right now and apparently have more sales to come so check them out before they are gone forever-- I will miss them so!

In other news, this week was seemingly uneventful- all of my students are doing great and I was even able to get some reeds going! Who know I could actually have time to stockpile enough reeds to be able to offer some to my students. This is a win-win situation because they get some great reeds and I get a little bit of extra $ which these days, with gigs few and far between- can't hurt one bit!!! Keeps me busy and productive anyway.

I was forewarned long ago by my first, favorite, and best teacher-- well, teacher has never quite fit what she actually was for me. Teacher sounds so one dimensional to say sometimes... she was a friend, big sister, educator, mentor, kick in the ass, everything I needed in my oboe life and in my life life too. We'll call her an "amazing mentor and presence".

Anyway, I digress. She told me once of the loneliness and doubt that I would one day face before, after, and during audition time and preparation for big musical events. She was, as only an oboe mother could be- totally right. It can be a terrible time, when you are left doubting your abilities, yourself, everything about your playing- reeds, instrument, and everything that you have worked toward- the list could probably go on forever. I hate this about auditions. I am mean enough to myself about my playing, pretty much the last thing I need is some external force putting the nail in the coffin.

I am trying to be nicer to myself right now, and just working through things. It is the life of any artist-- lots of peaks and valleys. I need to find a way to look a bit more in awe at the peaks and a bit more nonchalantly at the valleys.

Long time, no post.

I'm back, I'm back, I'm baccccccccccccck. After a long hiatus, due to summer, visitors, moving to our new house, auditions, more students, and any and all possible other excuses, I am back here... writing.

My life has just been a whirlwind as the summer has closed and fall is creeping in. I wish it would creep a little faster though... or at all. It is my favorite season and we don't really get it in the desert. It doesn't stop me from buying everything pumpkin flavored and attempting to wear the cardigans in my closet.

I am once again an oboe player, making reeds and teaching students, and now; making reeds for students (only my high schoolers). I am trying to avoid the fact that I need a new oboe, my current one has cracked more times than I care to remember, (though ironically not since moving to the desert) and I am really starting to feel it aging. The poor topjoint just doesn't have the same ring that it once did though, it still feels somewhat decent. This supposed oboe purchase will be the first one I have attempted on my own, so it will be interesting. The whole, figuring out where to get $8000 thing. It is kind of like a riddle or puzzle, and I haven't quite figured out what to do.

I now proudly have 7 oboe students- 3 high schoolers and 4 middle schoolers, and I am pleased with all of their work and progress. Especially my older students who are all studying out of Barret and Ferling and even though they are sophomores and freshmen are advanced to a point that I am satisfied with. They are a bright spot in my week, and I love teaching ALL of them!

Since school has started, this of course means that I am also back to paraproing. Kind of a mobile oboe doctor of sorts for all of the schools in the district. The bulk of that job includes making suggestions on reeds, repairs, simple embouchure set ups, air support-- as much pertinent oboe info as I can cram into a 45-50 min. class period. It is hard because the main thing that they need to know is that they need a private oboe instructor... and I'm not saying it has to be ME, but it should be somebody.

No gigs yet this fall, and it has me starting to brainstorm some ideas. It is that constantly overriding question in many musicians minds; take control, or be controlled?

I don't know if I want to spend my life being controlled by external musical forces; auditions, politics, circumstances, other people. Maybe I want to gain some of that back for myself... still trying to figure out how to do that, but I know that is what I really want to be able to do. So I am thinking recitals, wedding music, chamber music, what can I do? I know that I want to have fun, and play music with bright, caring, like minded people. I kind of have a feeling this is how many a very special chamber group has gotten started...