St. Oboe's Passion...

After some weeks away, AGAIN... I am back. I am always thinking of these great ideas and topics that I am going to blog about, especially as I am driving because I have sooo much time in the car. However, when it comes down to getting home and actually blogging, it is pretty darn difficult when I have the choice between dinner and my bed and the computer screen.

This past weekend I had the great pleasure of playing St. Matthew's Passion with the Southern Nevada Musical Arts Society. I was really looking forward to this project as it is a pretty huge piece for the two obbligato oboe\oboe d'amore\oboe da caccia parts. I was assigned to play the second obbligato part with Stephen Caplan playing first, a great chance to play with a talented and seasoned oboe professional and a great learning experience indeed.

This project reminded me how athletic it can be to be a professional musician. We have to take such good care of our bodies and minds in order to pull off a 3 hour long performance like this one. I struggled at times with the endurance needed not only physically, but the concentration that I needed mentally. It was a great experience that I feel thankful to have and although it was stressful, there were aspects of the performance that I did manage to enjoy.

One big accomplishment that I will own up to is that I did this performance totally naturally. By this, I mean that I didn't take beta blockers or any type of medication to prepare for this concert. Performance anxiety has always been a monster on my back, and especially while at grad school in San Francisco when the pressure was high and the competition extremely fierce. It burned me out a little bit. A lot bit.

Since the beginning of graduate school, fear was my constant companion. I had never been scared to play the oboe like I was when I was a masters student- I had never felt anything but enjoyment and pure happiness while playing. To cope with things I did use beta blockers for many performances and auditions, and in the process I lost a lot of myself as an oboe player.

In the past months I have been working to overcome my anxiety, realizing that it is present in my daily life- not just my musical life. It is definitely becoming more manageable and as I learn how to overcome it, I have moved away from the use of any type of prescription aides. So this performance was a milestone for me. It was great to be totally present in the performance, it was great to look forward to and to love playing again.

I definitely don't look down on anyone who use propanalol or any other drugs to aide them in their work, it isn't a sign of weakness -we lead stressful lives. However, it has been very liberating for me to realize that my best oboe self works better and is more happy without them.

The big picture...

I have been thinking a lot lately about "the big picture" of my musical life, past-present-future. It is absolutely necessary to sit back and do this from time to time, I think- it will help me to grow and move forward.

I love to read, and I like to gain perspective through a lot of different mediums but reading, especially in the music psychology category is great.

An amazing book for really anyone that I am going to reread- The Art of Possibility by Ben Zander. It is really great, and I can't recommend it enough.

I need to read this book again in order to remind myself that I can tackle my goals (like being part of a professional orchestra)... the book is based on the concept that when you open yourself to all possibilities- especially positive, there is no limit to what you can accomplish. What an amazing concept!

New, Cool, Oboe Stuff!!!

I am a huge fan of Mark Chudnow, he is such a sweet guy and he is my supplier for my go-to staples that I have found really work for me- the Sierras. I just visited his website to purchase more of my beloved staples and found that he has created yet another innovative, new staple design.

Though I have never been able to make his corkless staples work for me, I know many people that swear by them and I am sure that this one will be no exception. If anyone tries it out, let me know how it goes!

Anuncio (commercial) Volkswagen Polo: Fagot (Bassoon)

Courtesy of my great friend, Ben Opie. This is some double reed fun to start the week off right!

J. Haydn - Oboe Concerto C-Dur 1st Movement

This is a post for my high school freshman student, A. We are testing out some solo pieces for her and this is one of the possibilities. Listen and enjoy the Haydn Oboe Concerto in C major...

I'm here... kind of!

Sorry for being a MIA oboe blogger for these first couple of weeks of February! I have been in and out of the Phantom pit, felt kind of funky health-wise (nothing serious), and of course have just been the usual level of busy.

I am brought back to you by a fun email that I received this morning from a friend (also a contractor of fun gigs of the not-typical-oboe-music kind)!

I have heard this story before... but that doesn't make it any less funny, and also a great reminder that nobody's perfect!

This is what I received...

Okay, the Toscanini story. Absolutely true. He was rehearsing the NBC
Symphony for the weekly Sunday morning radio concert . Halfway through a
movement of something or other, he stopped, frowned and said, "Will the
second oboe please play softer at measure seventy-two." They began again.
And again, Toscanini pulled up short, slammed his baton down on the stand,
and, pissed off, growled, "Will the second oboe please play softer starting
at measure seventy-two!" With that, the first oboist stood up, raised his
hand and said, "Maestro, forgive me, but the second oboe is not here yet,
he's late." Toscanini's face inverted as he growled, "Well, godammit, when
he gets here, tell him to play softer at seventy-two!"

Oboe Taxes

We are getting all of our tax documents lined up and going over them, as I am sure most all of you are as well. My husband is very diligent about this process, which is good because I am not. The best I can do is save all of my receipts and try to keep a log of where I travel to for work.

Over lunch, I racked up the countless odds and ends that I purchased in order to maintain my oboe studio, and perform-- things like music, staples, thread, turkey feathers, and of course cane all popped up as I tabulated away. I was expecting to see a scary number at the end, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting which surprised me! I think that I have always been the kind of person to make a "big deal" out of not-so-big-deal things, and then playing the oboe came along which lends itself to that dramatic tendency anyway :)

In total as I looked back over my mileage, all of the places I drove to, concerts and shows I played, students I taught, it seemed very worthwhile indeed. On paper, I would say 2010 looked pretty good!

This week I am kind of enjoying a taste of the good life- playing Phantom in the PM and relaxing a bit in the AM, twist my arm, go on :)